Posted December 31, 1969 by Jody Ingram

It?s been quite some time since I?ve decided to sit down and write in my journal. A lot of great things have been happening in my life as I am now in the 27th season.

Ask yourself this? have you ever made a run through the Kithicor Forest at night drunk? If so, you probably cannot live to tell about it, made out with .2/100 of your health or were confused if it was day or night. Yeah, I tried this. It ran as fast as I could ? having my own SoW casted upon me. I thought I was at the entrance to Highpass? it looked so much like it? but it wasn?t! I was so drunk that I was running into the side of the damn wall thinking I was entering some place I was not. But yeah, some skeletons axed my ass and I had to go home in pieces? until a good buddy of mine revived me. That?s a good thing about Paladins ? they are pussies. They live for their God reviving and resurrecting anyone that they can with no price ? unlike those damn clerics who seem to want to fine me for more money than I have and more than they can carry.

The thing about platinum? is that you never seem to have enough when you really want to buy something and you always seem to have too much when you have everything you want. The hammer that I wanted really badly was way too expensive, so I never got it. (The Dark Ember). Eventually I had saved up enough money to get it.. but it seemed that a lot of it went to KEI and alcohol. (Oh, and that Elven chick I met in the Commonlands). Ever since the GMs got rid of the Aqua Goblin camps, it?s getting harder and harder to make a living. I remember when I used to raid those and leave with about 1K (1,000 pp) in about 6 hours (RL). Now if I raided it that long.. I would be lucky if I came back with 100 pp. All of the items that were worth anything went down in value ? from 5 plat each to about 2 gold. And as you know, 10 gold equals one plat ? so that?s pretty damn cheap for those goblin heads. Oh well, at least they were never much of a fight for me. I remember when I saw several small low seasoned elves gang one Aqua Goblin. I wasn?t too sure if they were having a hard time or not so I blasted it with one of my lovely fire spells ? killing it instantly. They seemed to thank me, so I figured they were having a pretty difficult time. At times, I just want to knock them over and drown them in the ocean, but being a friendly Elf, I just can?t find it in me to do that. It would take a lot to make Veekan Frostbayne do something like that.

Let me tell you a little about my training experience.

Going from season one to ten was a blast ? despite the falling out of my town and dying upon impact on the ground, I have yet to die ? meaning no one has killed me. After I reached the 10th season, I entered Crushbone. For a little while, I couldn?t find anyone that wanted to group with me, so I slaughtered a small band of orcs until I was in the 13th season. I then found a great group in front of the Crushbone castle which I stayed with until I was in the 22nd season. As you know if you?ve been there, it took a lot for me to get that high ? our group had to eventually move into the castle and take over the throne room. We were then forced to take down Emperor Crush, and after some time, he was ours. Despite how strong he is, he was no match for my heavy snare and DoTs. All was good? until SOME STUPID HUMAN entered the top of the tower, thinking he could take down Ambassador Dvinn. After a few swings, Dvinn handed that dude?s ass to him in a bag and came down to murder my group. As I said before though, no one has killed me yet? so I ran. I ran, jumped out the window, and ran some more. I eventually found a river, which I dove in and gated back to my home town. My group was pretty pissed off ? not at me ? but in general as that human had them all killed. The human apologized to my group over and over until they finally accepted it. I tried to make him give us some money, but they didn?t want to accept it? and because I didn?t die by the hands of that evil dark elf Dvinn, he wouldn?t give me any money either? bastard.

After I finally left there, I took out a few Griffons in the Commonlands with another fellow druid friend and got to the season that I am currently at. After the last furious Griffon fight (a small Griffawn was involved), I decided it was time to take a small break and drink some Ale. As I ventured my way back to Freeport, I noticed that two guards on the outside of the gate were dead. Normally when you find guards dead, you think nothing of it? as they are weak and stupid.. but not these. These two guards were some of Freeport?s finest noble guards.. and taking down these two had to have been no easy task. I looked around for a trace of who might have been strong enough to kill these two, but I found nothing. I then thought that it might have been a rogue ? attacking them swiftly and mercifully ? then disappearing into the night faster than a troll on a batwing.

As I decided not to care that much anymore, I wandered into Freeport, where I found my favorite bartender? dead. I was pretty pissed off, but I figured that since he was so popular, he would have been brought back to life by someone in the zone ? the zone was empty. Before I died also by some random curse, I ported to Kaladim where I went inside, bought 3 plat worth of Ale, and got drunk.

Enough rambling on about my drinking stories ? I?ve accomplished something else (other than having a really high alcohol tolerance)! I am an excellent baker!

I know what you?re probably thinking. ?What the hell?? right? Okay, good for you. I love to eat and since I have no wife, I decided it would be better if I actually baked my own Fish Rolls and Bear Steaks. (Yes I eat Bear Steaks, and no I do not kill my own bears.) Besides that, I?ve also become a pretty adapt swimmer. Although I can swim faster than a newly born Iksar, I?m still no match if I was to fall off of a ship in the Ocean of Tears and try to swim to an Island? unless I can actually kill the shark that is biting my ass, swimming won?t help me.

Okay, some High Elf is looking at me. I?m about to go punk him down.

/rude



EQ Dictionary For This Episode:

Seasons ? Another name for levels in this server.

Crushbone ? Clan Crushbone ? the home of the orcs of Faydwer.

Commonlands ? Large endless planes on the continent of Antonica.

Paladins ? Holy knights. A mix between a cleric and a warrior.

Platinum ? The currency in EverQuest. 10 copper = 1 silver. 10 silver = 1 gold. 10 gold = 1 plat.

Dark Ember ? A really awesome axe hammer that I really want. (I had it before on a different server.)

RL ? Real Life.

KEI ? A spell casted only by the Enchanter class. With it, my mana will regain faster than it will deplete ? very helpful in large fights or when soloing.

GMs ? Game Masters.

Aqua Goblin ? A Goblin that is adapt in the water. They are also blue.

Aqua Goblin Camps ? Camps where Aqua Goblins live.

Emperor Crush ? The Emperor of the Orcs. I kicked his ass.

Ambassador Dvinn ? A Dark Elf that is transferring documents from Neriak to Crushbone. He hides out in the tower in the Crushbone Castle. He?s very strong, but I?ll beat his ass one day.

Gated ? Past tense of the word ?Gate?. The spell Gate allows me to port back to my bind point.

Griffawn ? A small female Griffon.

Rogue ? A secretive class that masters the skill of backstabbing and pick pocketing.

Ale ? My favorite type of alcohol.

Iksar ? A lizard-like class in the game ? very adapt at swimming.

Ocean of Tears ? An ocean between the continents of Antonica and Odus.

/Rude ? The command, when typed in, makes your character use a rude gesture at whomever they are targeting (facing). Usually a bird finger or a shove-it signature.