Contributing writer Beau King, takes a look a first look at Facebreaker and gives his impressions. Full article after the jump.

Facebreaker: First Impressions
Thursday, August 7, 2008 – by Beau King, Contributing Writer

On a list of the many things you hoped be better in life comes Facebreaker. Now, first impressions can be as sound as a paper house, but I’m pretty sure this one will lie in the depths of lame. When first word hit about Facebreaker, I was pretty receptive as to what it had to offer. Player customization, wacky celebrities, and over-the-top animations are but a few things the title had going for it.

That is at least until the demo hit Xbox Live. In a very reasonable way, this game was expected to be something of a hybrid between Fight Night style boxing and a Def Jam Icon. Unfortunately, it is neither nor. Facebreaker consists of lousy attempts to bring funny characterizations into oddball settings and have said players duke it out. Even then what arises out of the mess is nothing that lives up to the name. When one hears Facebreaker, they think of slow-mo animations of an opponent’s face crumpling against a glove; basically showcased in Fight Night 3.

The only thing close to that seen is a black eye and possible bloody noses if you press your face against the screen. There are no animations or time altering effects. Worse than that is the gameplay. The last time I saw throwing in a boxing match was outside my house in 6^th grade. Each player has basically three attacks at his/her disposal. A high attack, a low attack, and a personalized power move. Each basic attack has a block to go with it and some sort of counter. Only, that counter is based on chance rather than timing.

I began a match as famed Peter Moore and was set against one of the three available characters from the demo; a fatter and creepier version of Nacho Libre. Difficulty was default at normal so, of course, I thought nothing too troubling would come. Wrong, what ensued was a fury of hits from a human blob that I had no real understanding of how to block, counter, or even run from. Thinking a learning curve was at play, I decided to withstand a few more matches against different foes. Still, even a button mashing fool would have had a hayday with this one.

Through all of the clouds, however, somewhat of a silver lining exists. And that’s through customization. EA has done a great job of allowing players to start with a Peter Moore template or upload a picture to make a personalized boxer. I admittedly had some fun making a Bluish looking Hulk to be used in the ring.

That might as well be the only redeeming quality sadly enough. Who knows though, some may love to be Kim Kardashian; only to be pummeled repeatedly by some big, goofy looking monstrosity. I for one don’t, and am disappointed to see it venture outside the possibility of an arcade title into full retail.